Sunday, April 28, 2013

The couple in this story have been married for over 40 years.  I hope to one day share in the blessing of being congratulated for 40 or more years of marriage. This piece is full of truth, insight and words of wisdom regarding marriage…


Proverbs 31 Ministries
The Best Marriage Advice
Van Walton

"Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path." Psalm 119:105 (NAS)

A joyful wedding party celebrated the new couple on an evening wrapped in good cheer and candlelight.

The bride and her father danced, followed by the groom and his mother. Adoring eyes framed the room.

Finally, couples young and old hit the dance floor. After a few musical notes, the DJ announced, "All couples married a year or less, step off the dance floor." Then he asked those married five years or less to take their leave. And so the invitation, to make room for couples married 10, 20, 30 years, continued.

While dancing with my husband, I noticed how few people remained.

"40 years!" The DJ broadcast to us last three couples dancing.

When the song ended, our friends, their children - now young adults - and our son, reached out with high-fives, pats on the back, and "Congratulations!"

Many asked, "How romantic ... what's your secret to staying together?"

The question came as no surprise and their idealic vision of marriage made me smile.

Romantic? Not so much. I would describe our years together as lots of tears shed over misunderstandings. Selfishness. Loneliness. Hard and difficult times, pushing through emotions I didn't understand.
Painful words. Challenging moments. Loads of opportunities to compromise. We were stubborn - both of us! As I look over my shoulder on the past 42 years, I know the real glue that has kept us together has been God and the power of His Word.

When I wanted to criticize my husband for offenses real and imagined, I read that love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).

When I felt lonely, I read that God was with me (Zephaniah 3:17).

When I thought I was right and my husband was wrong, I read that I shouldn't think too highly of myself (Romans 12:2-4).

When the daily grind of work, chores, errands drained me and my wild heart longed for more, I read that when I leaned on the Lord, through Him, I could get through anything (Philippians 4:13)

Marriage is like a triangle. Want to grow close to your man? Grow closer to God. As both of you reach upward you'll not only come close to God, you'll grow closer to each other. And if you are in a marriage where your husband doesn't want to draw near to the Lord, you keep on anyhow. In Him, you'll find the support, love and hope your heart desires.

A long time ago I was a young bride, asking older married women for advice. I heard a lot of things like keep the fun and adventure in your marriage. "Life is a gift," my mother taught me. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger," Daddy shared with me. "Know your husband" a friend encouraged me. Understanding my man's personality and love language taught me about conflict and acceptance.

I wouldn't hesitate to share any of these wise words to newlyweds. But the very BEST advice I learned along the way? The greatest marriage counselor and guide is God and His Word.

Marriage can be hard, but it's easier when we spend more time focusing on God's encouraging truths and less time concentrating on our husband's faults. Today, let's start a practice of turning to the Bible for answers about our marriage, thanking God for our husband and the Lord for His wisdom.

Are you looking at your husband through Jesus' accepting and grace-filled eyes or do you see him through needs you expect him to meet?

Before today is over, pick 2 verses to pray for your husband and 2 verses to recall that will give you wisdom for your marriage.

Father God, You alone are perfect. Help me to keep my eyes on You. I know that no one is an easy forever-partner. Remind me daily to curb my critical spirit. Teach me to see my husband through Your eyes. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Mark 10:6-9 (NIV)


Unconditional love, compromise, dying to self, much prayer, eyes fixed on God…worth it!



  1. Cindy, this is beautiful! My sweetie and I would agree whole heartedly with this post. We will celebrate 41 years of marriage next week on the 6th and the very best Counselor and guide is indeed God and His Word! Thank you for sharing.


  2. Beautiful post. I love your words of wisdom and yes, the Lord is what keeps the glue of any marriage together. Again, congratulations on 40 years. Hugs, Marty

  3. Great post. Wonderful advice.

    Happy to have you at Seasonal Sundays!

    - The Tablescaper

  4. Forty years will be here before you know it and 20 is a good start on the road to getting there!

  5. Couldnt agree with you more Cindy, God is the toughest and best glue for any marraige, happy anniversary to you both and wishing you more blessings, more happiness and of course, an abundance of 'glue' and live! Cheers!

  6. What a great reminder to us all, thanks for sharing.

  7. Morning Cindy,
    what a great post hon! Such great advice, and I would add anytime you get a chance to go to a marriage class
    at church helps you stay focused on your marriage and learn more ways to work with one another,
    and if there are no classes read a good book on marriage. We teach marriage classes and as we help others it has helped us even more than our students I would bet................
    We find that most of the people that attend our classes already have a good marriage and they just come to make it better..............and we know there are those that are having horrendous struggles, but they never darken
    the door of a marriage class, I don't get it..................but I have heard people say they are afraid someone will think they are having marital problems, well, guess what, they will...........cause we all have
    marital is common to this world you will have tribulations, it just matters
    what you do with it............

    Have a great day hon, just had to say this.......cause it is one of our passions.
    Blessings for a lovely Sunday,

  8. me again,
    and I forgot to say we are working on our 43 year!


  9. Beautiful words! I love it, and it is SO true. We dated for 10 years (yes 10!) and have been married 27 years. It takes work as anything good does. Have a wonderful Sunday!

  10. This is a wonderful story and so true. My hubby and I will celebrate 20 years this year. God brought us together and has been with us the whole way. Thank you, Cindy!

  11. Cindy, this is just wonderful! I loved every word and found myself saying, "AMEN!"

    You must have been a child bride because you don't look a day over 42!!! How can you be married 42 years? Girl, you have been drinking from the fountain of youth!

    I know that God is the reason why Mr. Magpie and I have made it to 35 years of marriage and five years of dating before that. He has to be first. He is the glue for any solid marriage. All the rest is important, but having God first is the most important thing.

    Sending you hugs this morning and celebrating with you that you have God front and center!



  12. Great post. We are just finishing a series on relationships at church This goes along perfectly If my dad had not pssed away 10 years ago they would have celebrated 60 years Sat the 27 Thanks for posting


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